on O'Reilly's Rant On Michael Jackson at 20:30 07/08/2009

the great american tale! a story of triumph and the greater good! we will take a fresh human and strip him of his innocence and subsequently his sanity. we, his family and friends, will pimp him out for decades. we will watch him waste away like the eccentric fleshbag he is and when he dies from drug abuse we were well aware of, we will plop his carcass in a casket of gold! and have upstanding celebrity citizens the likes of which are known racists, or tangles in murder suicides perform! it will be GLORIOUS. we will speak of him as if he was a great humanitarian, rather than a perpetually 7 year old puppet with financial advisor puppeteers. GLOR-I-OUS.

on Real Housewife Foils Release of Real Sex Tape at 23:40 06/24/2009

should've been called the real guinea housewives who happen to live in new jersey. and all the asinine "true jersey shore" shows should be called "look at these god awful guineas make fools of themselves at their summer shares"

on She Broke The Rules AGAIN This Week! at 12:12 05/15/2009

It's called beating a dead horse. ENOUGH TALK ABOUT PREJEAN, IT IS GRATUITOUS FILLER. There is nothing Hollywood about pageants anymore, these girls spend tens of thousands of dollars to feed a self obsessed addiction, not "win a scholarship". It's not possible for me to feel anything but sadness towards her to begin with. Her life as a pageant girl, by default, is pathetic.

on Drop Dead Brand at 14:35 04/28/2009

russell brand and i share the same hair, the same literary genius and lock and key genitals. i think his next project should be bending me over a psychiatrist's chair and siphoning out my daddy issues. rik mayall could videotape while phoebe cates and kevin kline wrote a book on sustainable romance. the stark contrast would make the heavens explode.

on Miley Has A Heart Problem at 12:41 03/10/2009

give me a break tachycardia is hardly a heart condition